Sleep, Escapes Me

Grant has been sick for a while now. We've been to the doctor 3 times and I've talked extensively with my lactation consultant.

That last part of May/early June, Grant was sleeping 6-8 hours a night. Perfect! The next week he started sleeping 10 hours a night, no problem. As a nursing mother, I was in pain, but I'd gladly suffer so that we could all get some shut eye around here. It became routine quickly. I'd nurse Grant around 10 pm at night and then he'd sleep till 8 am the next morning. At this time, he would nurse again and then sleep until 2 in the afternoon. A bit of a Nervous Nelly, I decided to call the Lactation Consultant. I thought he was sleeping too much and she agreed. I should wake him during that long nap and nurse. So I did. We both just figured he was going through a growth spurt and needed the extra sleep.

The next week, we went to the zoo on Monday, June 13. It was hot and I noticed a heat rash on Grant, or so I thought. The next morning, Grant's eyes were blood shot and he was covered in a lacy rash. I figured it was leftovers from the day before - too much sun and maybe a sprinkle of allergies. This goes on until Friday. I no longer believe that Grant has a heat rash, especially because he had developed a fever.

His fever continued through the weekend. On Sunday morning, I called the after-hours number for our doctor. I spoke with the on-call doctor and he agreed that Grant needed to be seen. He wanted to meet us that afternoon in his office.

The doctor assessed Grant and deemed his rash to be a viral rash, because he tested negative for Strep. Doctor's orders - keep an eye on things, if not better by Tuesday, get an appointment with our doctor to reassess. Monday, Grant is miserable. Hoarse from crying, puking, not sleeping, feverish, etc.

I get an appointment for Monday afternoon. Same dealio from our doctor. "Nothing you can do. Just wait it out. He'll be back to normal by the end of the week." End of the week comes and goes. No bueno baby.

Go back to the doctor on Monday, June 20. Grant still has all symptoms present, but the rash was slowly dissipating. Fever still around 101-102* Fahrenheit. The doctor prescribed an antibiotic in case he missed something. Grant seems to respond to the antibiotic, but now has diarrhea and a horrible diaper rash, side effects of said antibiotic.

This all brings us to tonight. Poor baby Grant is still sick. I'm at the end of my rope. I am so frustrated and defeated because I don't know what to do to help my baby. I'm beyond exhausted, running on fumes. I get angry at Aaron, because he can't soothe the baby nor does he wake at night to help when the baby is screaming.

Grant throws up (projectile vomiting) after almost every nursing session. (He is still gaining weight, so he is keeping something down. He gained 5.5 ounces in one week. 6/20/2011 Grant weighed 18 pounds 6.5 ounces.) I'm ready to quit breast feeding hoping that there's something wrong with my milk and he'll thrive on formula. But part of me worries that there is something wrong internally. If I stop breast feeding before knowing what is really wrong with him, I'd be giving up that special bond. I cherish nursing. I did not get that experience with Ellie. Nursing is a beautiful experience.

The mama in me tells me something is wrong. As much as I love our doctor because he is kind and will not rush me through an appointment time slot, I think it is time for a second opinion.

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