30 Days of Gratitude

I am thankful for adoption. Without it, we wouldn't have a daughter to call our own. Without it, we wouldn't be a family of four.

Forever Family

September 20, 2010 :: After court, a family of four!

Hard to believe this was four months ago already!

Busy Bee

I've been doing my student teaching internship at a local elementary school. I love second grade, but it consumes every waking moment of every day. I'll keep posting my pregnancy highlights on Fridays, but its going to be rather sparse until things calm down around here.

I had my first observation yesterday. My lesson was on friendly letters and it went wonderfully. My university mentor only had great things to say. In many ways, I'm sad that I'll be done teaching in December, but in other ways I am thankful to have the spring to myself and my family.

Looking forward to Monday as we will be finalizing Ellie's adoption. It has definitely been a long year and we are so thrilled to finally become a forever family. I'm trying to plan something special. I'm thinking we'll have a small luncheon on Monday and then a big celebration on the weekend. She's such a special girl and deserves to celebrate this special time in her life!

Paint Your Masterpiece

I went through with my first Groupon purchase today. I had signed up for emails and wasn't quite sure what all the hoopla was about until today's deal showed up. It was for a little pottery shop called Paint Your Masterpiece - I've been wanting to go there but just haven't done it for many reasons, but I decided that we'd go as a family and put our prints on something special to commemorate Ellie's adoption finalization coming up this month. I'm so excited to do this and can't wait to share the results. :o)

The Blindside

"I would like to thank what this film was about for me--the mom's that take care of the babies and the children no matter where they come from." Sandra Bullock ♥

Thoughts on Becoming a Mother

There are women that become mothers without effort, without thought, without patience or loss and though they are good mothers and love their children, I know that I will be better.

I will be better not because of genetics, or money or that I have read more books, but because I have struggled and toiled for this child. I have longed and waited. I have cried and prayed. I have endured and planned over and over again. Like most things in life, the people who truly have appreciation are those who have struggled to attain their dreams.

I will notice everything about my child. I will take time to watch my child sleep, explore and discover. I will marvel at this miracle every day for the rest of my life. I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night to the sound of my child, knowing that I can comfort, hold and feed him and that I am not waking to take another temperature, pop another pill, take another shot or cry tears of a broken dream. My dream will be crying for me.

I count myself lucky in this sense; that God has given me this insight, this special vision with which I will look upon my child that my friends will not see. Whether I parent a child I actually give birth to or a child that God leads me to, I will not be careless with my love. I will be a better mother for all that I have endured. I am a better wife, a better aunt, a better daughter, neighbor, friend and sister because I have known pain. I know disillusionment as I have been betrayed by my own body, I have been tried by fire and hell many never face, yet given time, I stood tall. I have prevailed. I have succeeded. I have won.

So now, when others hurt around me, I do not run from their pain in order to save myself discomfort. I see it, mourn it, and join them in theirs. I listen. And even though I cannot make it better, I can make it less lonely. I have learned the immerse power of another hand holding tight to mine, of other eyes that moisten as they learn to accept the harsh truth and when life is beyond hard. I have learned a compassion that only comes with walking in those shoes.I have learned to appreciate life.Yes, I will be a wonderful mother.

-Unknown

The Runaround

For two weeks, I have placed multiple calls to attorneys in the big city, but no one will return my calls. I've resorted to calling local attorneys and have an appointment this coming Friday with a Family Law Attorney to discuss the adoption.  

Money is a big issue. We know we can provide for the baby girl we just don't know how we will pay the legal fees of this adoption. It makes me hurt so much inside that this all comes down to money. Why does it cost so much to keep another child out of the system?

I am so excited, yet so scared. Please say a little prayer for us.

Happiness is...

When I was in high school, I was an avid theater junkie. One of my favorite shows that I participated in was You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown. We sang a song about Happiness and I even had the old Peanut's Happiness is a Warm Puppy book when I was little (Wish I knew what happened to that book, I'd love to pass it down someday).

Today, happiness is reconnecting with my husband. It's been stressful around our humble abode, with A working overtime for tax season (salaried overtime is no fun), insurance not covering ultrasounds/medication for PCOS, adoption, etc. I pray that this will all work out in the end.

image :: google search

Baby

Though we are young and healthy, I found out three-short-months after getting married that I have a condition called Poly-Cystic Ovarian Syndrome, which inhibits ovulation and causes the body to resist insulin. I am currently working with doctors and other health care physicians to control and manage my PCOS. It has taken one year, but my insulin numbers have finally come down with the aid of medication. I am working together with doctors so that one day, Aaron and I will be able to have a biological baby.

I have always admired the many humanitarians in this world for their decision to adopt; I have just now come to understand it. We have been asked to adopt a baby. This has not been easy, the question was posed on the first day of the new year and we've discussed it every day since. There has not been a decision either way, yet.

This is an extremely busy time for us. Aaron is heading into tax season as well as taking his CPA exams. I head back to school tomorrow and the semester ends in May. I would have to take a break from school and then return at a later date to finish methods and student teaching.

If anyone stumbles across my little corner of the blogosphere, please take a moment and think of our family. We could use some good thoughts and prayers. I'll share more, when I am able to. Thanks.

photo :: blue lily photography

I'm going to go join Winnie at his thinking spot

Aaron and I have a rather large decision to make.  I'll be back in a few days ...