30 Days of Gratitude

Day 4: I am thankful for Grant. He's the baby boy I didn't know that I wanted. I never imagined myself being the mother of boys. I wasn't even sure I knew how to care for a boy, but that unsure feeling was washed away when the doctors placed him on my chest. It was the most amazing feeling - a true "love at first sight."

Grant's Baby Food List

Red

Watermelon

Dark Cherries

Orange

Cantaloupe

Peach Sauce

Carrots

Butternut Squash

Sweet Potatoes

Yellow

Mangoes

Banana

Apple Sauce

Wax Beans

Spaghetti Squash

Pears

Green

Green Beans

Sweet Peas ((cooked & frozen))

Avocado with Lime Juice

Avocado with Banana

Blue/Purple

Beets

Blueberries

Other

Spaghetti with Meat Sauce and Chopped Green Beans

Macaroni and Cheese with Carrots

Cinnamon Apples & Pork Chops, Redux

Grant is an eating machine. Most days, I nurse him until dinner time and then he eats with us at the table. He currently eats 3 oz. of fruits and 3 oz. of veggies plus cereal for dinner and then nurses again before bed. (On days that I have to teach, he eats all meals by spoon and then nurses like mad in the late afternoon and evening - 3 oz. fruit and cereal for breakfast, 3 oz. fruit and 3 oz. veggies plus cereal for lunch.) With that said, we're running low on frozen baby food and sadly, the growing season for fresh produce has come to an end as well. Some things I can buy fresh/frozen at the store, but I love to buy 1/2 pecks of apples or peaches at the Farmers Market. Grant typically eats peach sauce or apple sauce (we're out of everything else - mangoes, cherries, etc.) so I stopped last night to pick up peaches, but they're all gone. Apples, however, are aplenty!

I always borrow my Mom's colander, but she is making her own batch of applesauce so I decided this morning to try my hand at Crock-Pot Applesauce. While poking around the internets this morning, I read about apples being one of the members of the "dirty dozen."

(Sounds like a gang, doesn't it?) I've always made my applesauce with skin-on, just like my mama does because "That's where all the fiber is!" I never thought about buying organic apples. I just thought I was doing my babies a favor by making their food. Hmmpf. Guess not.

1/2 peck of MacIntosh Apples

1/2 C. water (or cider if you wish to make apple butter, instead of sauce)

1/2 C. brown sugar

2 t. cinnamon

2 t. vanilla

dash of nutmeg & cloves

Since I didn't have a colander, I needed to peel my apples and core them before cooking. Using the Crock-Pot also meant that I didn't forget about the apples on the stove and letting it A.) boil over or B.) water evaporated and the apples burned the bottom of my pan or C.) hand wash Mom's antique colander and wooden smasher-thing.**

I put everything in the Crock-Pot and have let it cook on high (you should cook it on LOW, but I'm running out of time before dinner). I've opened it up a few times to stir, about once an hour - 90 minutes. Cook up to 8 hours on low or until you've reached your desired consistency. We'll eat it chunky for dinner, but for Grant I'll blend it into a puree with our handy dandy Magic Bullet. You could also use a blender or food processor. I just happen to have a MB that sat in the cupboard collecting dust for 8 years before it ever saw the light of day. MIL is a sucker for infomercials! I was so close to donating the box to Good Will, but decided to give it a try when making baby food for Ellie.

For the pork chops, I haven't decided how I'm going to cook them, since the apples are in the Crock-Pot. Usually, I'll make the whole meal in one skillet. (In a large skillet over medium heat, cook pork chips in 1 T. butter for 4-5 minutes on each side or until a thermometer reads 160 degrees...) Or, I might pan fry them tonight, but last time I did that, I wound up with 17 burns and blisters on my thigh from hot, splattering grease :o/

**technical term

Milestones

So, Grant crawled today. Not to mama, not to daddy, but to the sweeper. Also, Ellie correctly identified some letters today as we were putting them away! ♥

Going back - Grant first said "Mama" while we were out to dinner with my MIL on Wednesday, September 14. On the 24th, he said the /d/ sound, which continued into saying it repeatedly on October 1 for Aaron. He also started crawling on Oct. 1, skipping the army crawl and scoot and whatever else and going straight for digging knees into the ground and propelling himself forward, resulting in many face plants!

Buddy Walk

Our family joined forces with our dear neighbors and friends to celebrate our Hayden. Hayden is a handsome little guy that was born with a little extra special chromosome. The NDSS Buddy Walk of Northwest Ohio was held at Rocket Hall on the University of Toledo campus. There was lots of food and fun activities to do with the little ones before the walk. After the walk, Signing Time's Rachel Coleman did a stage presentation and stayed afterwards for a meet and greet session. The tent was too crowded to take our stroller in, so the kids stayed out with their Daddy :( BUT I got to meet Rachel! (Check out her photos from the event on Facebook.) She was so sweet and signed our DVD for the kids. Ellie and Grant loved her performance. Ellie got up on Aaron's shoulders to watch the show and Grant was wiggling around to the music. It was so much fun. I'm glad we got to participate.

Hopkins, Rachel & Lindsay

Part of our team Hayden's Heroes...asking random person to shoot pictures, not the best results

Aireana, Hailey (Hayden's big sissy) and Ellie

Rachel and the Signing Time Theme Song...she's signing "play"

Oh look, Grant really was there!

Enjoying the show from atop Daddy's shoulders

The Loveseat

Yesterday morning, I was sitting on the loveseat breastfeeding Grant for the second time that morning. Normally, I would call it a couch but on Monday it was a definitely a loveseat. Ellie had just gotten up and she was still in this half-dreamy state of mind. She crawled up next to us and wanted to say hi to Buddy. Then she asked me where her blankie was and went off to find it. She crawled back up and told us she was going to take a nap because Buddy was napping too. So she snuggled up and I played with her hair and she told me, "Thank you, Mama." It was a very sweet moment. She decided to climb back down and grab her baby and then sit with me to breastfeed her baby as well. In those few moments, I felt so much love for my children while sitting on the couch. It was definitely a magical morning, despite the rain and the interrupting phone call.

Ellie feeding her baby, totally unprompted. I ran to find the camera and asked her a bunch of questions. She ignored me. The Backyardigans and a hungry baby are way more important that Mama's silly questions.

Adventures in Breastfeeding

Two weeks ago, I received a phone call from a local school district asking if I could sub at their elementary school for three days. I arranged for a babysitter and took the position, but then the worry set in. Teaching for three days meant that my kids would be in the care of another individual. I had been home since December with Ellie and I have yet to leave Grant for more than 4 hours.

That first night after accepting the job, I was unable to sleep. There was so much that needed to be done - the house needed cleaned, the laundry needed done, the kids' rooms needed straightened up, our "schedule" needed to be written down, I needed to go grocery shopping, and worst of all, Grant needed to learn how to drink from a bottle!

I can count on both hands the number of times I'd tried to get Grant to drink from a bottle. I had tried to get him to take it the first time after successfully breastfeeding for six weeks. Aaron's firm's party was coming up and I'd have to leave Grant for the night with my parents. Since Aaron was in the midst of tax season when Grant was born, he was unable to be home to help feed bottles and Grant is no dummy when it comes to the bottle vs. boob debate. Grant screamed for the few hours that I was out of the house that night...and I was afraid my parents would never offer to watch the kids again.

Since I was unable to find a full-time teaching job for this school year, I've continued breastfeeding exclusively. There's no need for a bottle when your food source is always around. I enjoy breastfeeding so much - the snuggles, the closeness, the warm and satisfied baby. I never had that with Ellie and I don't know if I'll ever experience it again. I'm thankful that I have had this opportunity and I'm willing to continue until Grant chooses to wean himself.

Anyway, last Monday was my first day away. A few hours into it, my sitter started texting me - Grant won't take a bottle. He's screaming. He won't eat his fruit and cereal. All he'll eat is puffs, etc. My heart was broken. I was stuck at this school for nine hours away from my baby. The kids were horrible, the sub plans were scrawled out in a bulleted list that she complied from other teachers' plans (right in front of me - 10 minutes before the kids arrived), and I was physically in pain because I couldn't nurse my baby boy.

Pumping and I don't get along. It was helpful in the early weeks when I faced engorgement, but I haven't had a need to use it since. No sense stockpiling the freezer with bags of milk when the baby won't drink it. That right there is a perfectly good reason to cry over spilt milk. Breastfeeding is hard, don't let anyone tell you any different, but it is truly amazing and worth the effort.

The first two days, I had two separate breaks - one during lunch and one during their special (gym or music, etc.). Last Wednesday, I had one break because lunch and special were scrunched together into one block of time. Add into there that I took the kids to lunch late and there was a bunch of papers that HAD to be graded during the kids' special, I had one 20-minute break to pump and then scarf food down on my way back to the classroom.

So I guess what I'm saying is that I do not enjoy being away from my kiddos even though I get caught up in it and wish for some adult interaction during the day/some free time for mama, but yes, it felt good to actually get dressed with hair and make up and yes, it felt good to be back in the classroom. Subbing was not as scary as I feared it would be, but a different schedule everyday is very difficult for new mamas that are exclusively breastfeeding.

breastfeeding in the hospital for the first time

Homemade Ice Cream

We spent the weekend poolside. Saturday night we all enjoyed chicken enchiladas together and then my Mom (Gigi to my kiddos) made a chocolate cake with homemade strawberry ice cream - the kind you have to hand crank. It was the best dessert I've ever tasted. Seriously. It was that good.

Ellie helping Poppy hand crank the ice cream.

Grant's first taste of ice cream.

Good Morning, Buddy

As I was finishing up reading a news article online this morning, Ellie came and asked me, "Where's Buddy (Grant)?" I told her that he was in his crib and we'd go in a few minutes to get him up. She bolted for his bedroom and threw open the door, "Good morning, Buddy. Love you, Buddy."

6 Months?!?!?!

So, Grant will be six months old THIS WEEK and I still haven't finished writing his birth story. I started it 6 days after he was born and even then I felt like I'd forgot details. My little boy ((isn't all that little!)) and growing up so fast. I can't believe how many milestones he's made so far!

Comparisons ((Cereal))

Ellie's first taste of rice cereal, 4 months old

Grant's first taste of rice cereal*, 4 months old

*After one week of rice cereal, we've switch to whole grain/whole wheat as I support the White Out Movement. You can learn more about it here.

Comparisons ((Sippy Cup))

Ellie's first sippy cup, 7 months old

Grant's first sippy cup, 5 months old

Comparisons ((High Chair))

Ellie's 1st time in the high chair, 5 months

Grant's first time in the high chair, 5 months

August 17

Happy [5 month] Birthday!

Grant, you're 5 months old today. Slow down, Buddy! You're growing up so fast. You're wearing 9-12 month clothes and a size 3 diaper when in disposables. We've been cloth diapering full time, but every now and then you need to wear a 'sposie.'

You've started eating food this past month. I gave you rice cereal for a week and then we took a break for a week. You just didn't seem to get it. In the mean time, I read some articles and decided not to feed you rice cereal. At dinner one night, I gave you cantaloupe in the mesh feeder and you fell in LOVE! You've since eaten cantaloupe a few times, tried prunes, dark sweet cherries and whole wheat cereal with breast milk. You love to sit at the table (in the Bumbo chair) with us during dinner time.

Nursing you first thing in the morning and the last thing at night is my absolute favorite time of the day. I love to listen to you wake up happy and coo, over the monitor. You're so excited to see me and I'm excited to see your happy face, even if it is still dark out.

Sunday night, we brought home an exersaucer for you to play in. You're too big for the swing and you get bored/drown in drool on the activity mat. We also had dinner with Grandma Jo and her husband Bill. They bought a coloring book for Ellie and some 12 month clothes for you! Between your size and the bulkiness of cloth diapers, you no longer fit in 6-9 month clothes. We're taking bets on how big you'll be on your 1st birthday! :o)

You and Ellie are smitten with each other. She loves to help you play, and wants to cuddle with you, and she insists on giving you kissing before bed. She really loves you a lot...please remember that when you both are teenagers!

Love, Mama

52/19

18 weeks

52/18

17 weeks

52/17

16 weeks

Sleep, Escapes Me

Grant has been sick for a while now. We've been to the doctor 3 times and I've talked extensively with my lactation consultant.

That last part of May/early June, Grant was sleeping 6-8 hours a night. Perfect! The next week he started sleeping 10 hours a night, no problem. As a nursing mother, I was in pain, but I'd gladly suffer so that we could all get some shut eye around here. It became routine quickly. I'd nurse Grant around 10 pm at night and then he'd sleep till 8 am the next morning. At this time, he would nurse again and then sleep until 2 in the afternoon. A bit of a Nervous Nelly, I decided to call the Lactation Consultant. I thought he was sleeping too much and she agreed. I should wake him during that long nap and nurse. So I did. We both just figured he was going through a growth spurt and needed the extra sleep.

The next week, we went to the zoo on Monday, June 13. It was hot and I noticed a heat rash on Grant, or so I thought. The next morning, Grant's eyes were blood shot and he was covered in a lacy rash. I figured it was leftovers from the day before - too much sun and maybe a sprinkle of allergies. This goes on until Friday. I no longer believe that Grant has a heat rash, especially because he had developed a fever.

His fever continued through the weekend. On Sunday morning, I called the after-hours number for our doctor. I spoke with the on-call doctor and he agreed that Grant needed to be seen. He wanted to meet us that afternoon in his office.

The doctor assessed Grant and deemed his rash to be a viral rash, because he tested negative for Strep. Doctor's orders - keep an eye on things, if not better by Tuesday, get an appointment with our doctor to reassess. Monday, Grant is miserable. Hoarse from crying, puking, not sleeping, feverish, etc.

I get an appointment for Monday afternoon. Same dealio from our doctor. "Nothing you can do. Just wait it out. He'll be back to normal by the end of the week." End of the week comes and goes. No bueno baby.

Go back to the doctor on Monday, June 20. Grant still has all symptoms present, but the rash was slowly dissipating. Fever still around 101-102* Fahrenheit. The doctor prescribed an antibiotic in case he missed something. Grant seems to respond to the antibiotic, but now has diarrhea and a horrible diaper rash, side effects of said antibiotic.

This all brings us to tonight. Poor baby Grant is still sick. I'm at the end of my rope. I am so frustrated and defeated because I don't know what to do to help my baby. I'm beyond exhausted, running on fumes. I get angry at Aaron, because he can't soothe the baby nor does he wake at night to help when the baby is screaming.

Grant throws up (projectile vomiting) after almost every nursing session. (He is still gaining weight, so he is keeping something down. He gained 5.5 ounces in one week. 6/20/2011 Grant weighed 18 pounds 6.5 ounces.) I'm ready to quit breast feeding hoping that there's something wrong with my milk and he'll thrive on formula. But part of me worries that there is something wrong internally. If I stop breast feeding before knowing what is really wrong with him, I'd be giving up that special bond. I cherish nursing. I did not get that experience with Ellie. Nursing is a beautiful experience.

The mama in me tells me something is wrong. As much as I love our doctor because he is kind and will not rush me through an appointment time slot, I think it is time for a second opinion.

52/16

15 weeks